i could blog about poker now, but i won't.

i'm going to carry on blogging about gambling addiction. it's far more relevant.

three months ago i realised my period was late, did the test and lo! there was the little line saying i was avec child. quick glass of vino, couple of ciggies and two more tests. both positive.

delighted, mr donk v happy too, a couple of months earlier than planned (work committments) but hey, who cares?

so, baby good. pregnancy less good. being a carrier BAD. i am not good at treating myself well ---- all that stretched in front of me was months of sobriety, no smoking, no such fun. what to do when work's tough? what to look forward to at the weekend? etc etc.

disney's best animators couldn't have drawn the cartoon light bulb pic that appeared above my head as clearly as it appeared to me. if i were sober, surely i could re-install t'internet? poker could be what i looked forward to.

so i began again. and it's been better, esp during the week, when i've been turning off computer 11pm, not 2am, have only played 1 - 2 stt, not 3-4. and def no drunkedn entries into mtt at midnight on a weds.

So where's the problem... the prob is the mtts at the weekend. out of maybe 40 i've played, i've cashed ONCE. once....

why? ok, big stuff coming up. just not now. but v soon